Robert Bray 1926-2015

Robert Bray

His feisty manner, fundamental belief in the Republican party, Texas style football and absolute commitment to his family (a daughter and two sons), made being with my Uncle Bob both nutty and sweet.  He was a man of his times - a Korean War Navy veteran, a 50's St. Louis man, a believer that men should be men and take care of women.  What he got was a daughter who carved out a career in financial services, and three nieces each insisting on their financial independence, committed to living life on their own terms.

Visiting with Uncle Bob was never, never dull.  We'd laugh and argue, drink beer, eat and then argue and laugh some more -- right after the football game, of course.

Uncle Bob was not an executive, rather an engineer whose work took him all over the world on projects in the aerospace and oil industries.  I never knew where he and Jean would land next - could it be in New Jersey (yes), Florida(yes), Saudi Arabia (yes), or his homeport of Texas (yes) -- a few on a long list of work and travel adventures just like his sister, Marion, my mom.

Uncle Bob and my mom were not always close, but after dad died, they visited more often and talked regularly.  Rumor has it that my dad did not favor Uncle Bob.  I never knew why as they were so much alike, and most likely, I never will.  They shared the same voice, I couldn't tell them apart on the phone, and their walk, gestures and facial features were uncannily alike.  They could have been twins.

In early 2006 my mom's health failed most likely from diabetes and an ankle break that would not heal as a result.  At 82 she was in a nursing home under hospice care near our home in Baltimore. When Uncle Bob and Aunt Jean learned how dire the situation was, they immediately flew up from Texas to be at her side.  Despite a near coma state, she knew they were there, holding her hands, talking softly for some hours.  At 2 AM after their visit, she died.  She had been waiting for him.

Well into his 80's, Uncle Bob remained involved in the world using the internet to keep up to date with the world news, his computer to manage his finances, and email as well as the cell phone to keep in touch with us.  But, when Jean died several years ago unexpectedly, her death tore a hole in his heart, his spirit escaping, which could never be recovered. He tried, but just wasn't the same. 

This morning, with gray clouds and rain all around me, I learned that Uncle Bob died at 2:15 AM, just shy of his 90th birthday, after surgery, in Texas, peacefully.  If I were religious, I would tell you how happy he is to be reunited with Aunt Jean.