Remember what is was like in the 70's? This play brought back those feelings that anything was possible; that life should be endless and could be lived without fear -- weekends of late night parties, loud throbbing music, mind numbing marijuana and overflowing liquor that culminated, if I was lucky and the guy could still function, in an fantastic sexual encounter. I was sure that I could escape the lives of my unhappy and bored parents. I was sure I could save myself from the future. I was going to be different -- passionate, artistic, stunning, experimental!
Faced with the reality of the future - that nothing could be better than what Janis had on stage with her music. No one could control her and she could feel so deeply. However, no relationship or anything else could fill the emptiness she felt after the music was over. Janis Joplin killed herself with drugs and alcohol at age 37.
Faced with the reality of the future, I feared the emptiness too so I married only to discover that I hated being entrapped and having no options more than I feared the emptiness. Above all else, I wanted control over my life -- what I did, who I was and who I would become - good or bad. That meant I could never be the subservient wife or obedient employee. Striving overpowered the emptiness. After seeing the play I realized that I had been determined to find what Janis found on stage in front of an audience -- the oneness and the ecstasy of completeness.
Flash forward 35 years. It is the future. I not only survived, I did well. I didn't become my parents. My life has never been boring. I'm neither trapped nor empty. I am content with myself, finally. My work is my work -- creative yet sometimes boring; challenging yet sometimes so easy that I almost stop thinking; satisfying yet sometimes so exhausting that there is nothing left at the end of the day. I've had a happy relationship for over 20 years. However, never has the work or my partner brought me the oneness and completeness that Janis' music and audiences brought her. However, there are times when the breezes, sun, and water's soothing surface combine into a perfect harmony as I slice a path through the water. I find oneness and the ecstasy of completeness when I sail.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Relief
Try dragging yourself through the heat and clawing your way through the humidity for ten days. It's a humbling experience - living without air conditioning. DC is the south and July has been wet, hot, and heavy. Ceiling fans and 15 minute spurts of cool every now and then from the wounded air conditioner kept us from fleeing to a hotel. Last weekend, we went to two movies just to keep cool. We were lucky -- they made us laugh.
There were parts ordered, installed and it still cut out after 30 minutes. In the end, after $1,700 in repairs, frantic, angry discussions with the repair company owner and a 7 AM emergency return visit, I left for work with John watching over the repairman as he combed the equipment manual and starred into the abyss of the compressor.
The good news is that he did find the culprit that morning. It was a clogged drain hose. The water created by the compressor was backing-up to a "kill" switch that prevented the compressor from being flooded (or something like that). I guess we really didn't need a new mother board and controller switch and whatever. Sigh.
Now we can concentrate on the other problems that have plagued us this summer -- the multiple water leaks in the Memphis townhouse, the boat repairs and, our newest problem-- the tire we have to replace after I ran it up on a curve in a dark parking lot last week. I feel like Linus carrying around a storm cloud over my head. Sigh.
There is more good news. Water leak repairs inside and outside of the townhouse are underway. However, another leak in main that brings water into the house was found in the process. And the needed roof/eave work and bay window replacement still needs to be done. I guess it's just our time. We've gotten away with very few issues in the five years since we first rented the place. Next year -- we sell! The Memphis housing market lags at the bottom of the recovery chain, but we are told it is finally climbing out of the pits of foreclosures. Sigh.
The boat front brings news of progress as well. The mast and rigging have been ordered, hopefully, to arrive in August. The fiberglass work begins this week. Maybe by September we can sail. Just a month before the end of the season. Sigh.
There were parts ordered, installed and it still cut out after 30 minutes. In the end, after $1,700 in repairs, frantic, angry discussions with the repair company owner and a 7 AM emergency return visit, I left for work with John watching over the repairman as he combed the equipment manual and starred into the abyss of the compressor.
The good news is that he did find the culprit that morning. It was a clogged drain hose. The water created by the compressor was backing-up to a "kill" switch that prevented the compressor from being flooded (or something like that). I guess we really didn't need a new mother board and controller switch and whatever. Sigh.
Now we can concentrate on the other problems that have plagued us this summer -- the multiple water leaks in the Memphis townhouse, the boat repairs and, our newest problem-- the tire we have to replace after I ran it up on a curve in a dark parking lot last week. I feel like Linus carrying around a storm cloud over my head. Sigh.
There is more good news. Water leak repairs inside and outside of the townhouse are underway. However, another leak in main that brings water into the house was found in the process. And the needed roof/eave work and bay window replacement still needs to be done. I guess it's just our time. We've gotten away with very few issues in the five years since we first rented the place. Next year -- we sell! The Memphis housing market lags at the bottom of the recovery chain, but we are told it is finally climbing out of the pits of foreclosures. Sigh.
The boat front brings news of progress as well. The mast and rigging have been ordered, hopefully, to arrive in August. The fiberglass work begins this week. Maybe by September we can sail. Just a month before the end of the season. Sigh.
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